Big Update!

It's been quite some time since my last blog post, over a year actually, and I apologize. First let me say HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!

 As you can see above I'm pregnant, well WAS pregnant. I gave birth to my son last February. When I first found out I was pregnant in early August the plan was to take a little break from blogging to enjoy my pregnancy, but as time went on my pregnancy became more and more difficult. I spent a lot of time on bed rest and had absolutely no energy to do anything.

I suffered with hyperemesis gravidarum all through my pregnancy, was a frequent in the ER, and ended up developing preeclampsia which led me to welcoming my son two weeks early. Very scary!

Meet my son Tristan born February 26, 2014 at 1:21 am. He was 6 lbs 7 oz and 19.5 inches long. 

After my son was born it was a really big learning curve adjusting to live with a newborn and a 3 year old, believe me there were plenty of days and nights that ended in tears. I really thought breastfeeding the second time around would be a lot easier because I knew what to expect, but I forgot to factor in that I'd have a demanding 3 year old to answer to also. 

Now that 8 months have passed I finally feel like things are starting to get back to normal again, which means I can find time to blog again. 

-Megan

Photo Credit: All images taken by me

I wrote another guest post for BabyCenter

So I wanted to let you all know I wrote another guest post for BabyCenter's blog about trying to conceive and how hard it can be when you find out you're not pregnant. It can touchy topic that some people are afraid to open up about which is why I choose to write about it.

You can read it here: A hard way to find out you're not pregnant please feel free to comment. I appreciate honesty, please share the good, bad, and the ugly with me.

Thank you for continuing read my stories and sharing yours with me.

Don't forget to also check out other stories on the BabyCenter Blogs.

XO,
Megan

Photo Credit: BabyCenter LLC

5 fun things to do with your tot this summer

In case you haven't noticed from extreme heat that has blanketed all of California and most of the West, summer is officially here!

I have a love hate relationship with it, on the one hand we can finally get outside and enjoy the summer sun. But sometimes it gets so hot that all I want to do is go inside and enjoy my wonderfully cool air conditioned house.

Whatever your preference it's only natural with your kids home all summer they are bound to get bored, which is why I have come up with some fun ideas for you try this summer. Some of these you can do inside, some outside.

1.) Buy some play dough and get creative (or you can make it)! No really it's that easy! My daughter got a really cool play dough cupcake maker toy for her birthday when it's too hot go outside this is a great way to keep the little ones busy. We have made some pretty cool stuff. This is fun even if you don't have the cupcake maker toy. There have been plenty of times when I just grabbed a rolling pin and cookie cutter and got creative.

2.) Run through the sprinklers! We did this a lot last summer it was 6:30 pm after dinner and the weather had cooled down just enough to make it fun! The cool beads of water dripping from our skin felt great. The best part, it's FREE!

3.) Take your kids to the movies. There's a lot of great kids movies coming out this summer like Monster's University, Despicable Me, Turbo comes out later this month, and next month Smurfs 2, and the new Disney movie Planes comes out. With all those options your kids will have no choice but to sit there and be entertained. Best part you get to spend at least and hour in a nice air conditioned theater without anyone whining or pulling at your leg. That sounds like a win to me!

4.) Go to the beach or pool! Take advantage of the warm weather and get out there and swim with your kiddos. I admit I was a little hesitant to take my daughter back into the pool since the incident we had a few weeks back if you have no idea what i'm talking about read about it here the day my kid almost died. But over the weekend we went back into the pool, and it was tough the first day she didn't want to swim much, but I kept encouraging her. The next day was even better. With all this heat you got to take advantage of water whether it be a beach or pool.

5.) Try something new off of Pintrest. I know you all have a pintrest account, and if you're anything like me you have like over 100 craft ideas pinned to do with your kids. Well now that it's summer try one! I've already tried this fun moon sand pin with my daughter made of 8 cups of flour and one cup of baby oil. My daughter loved it and there was little to NO mess!

Whatever you decide to do with your kids remember to be safe and follow proper safety precautions. Let me know what you plan on doing with your kids this summer in the comments!

Photo Credit: Google images and myself

What I've learned since becoming a mother

Something tragic happened to me today to inspire this post.. my beloved cell phone that I've had for almost 2 years now is no longer. I've had this thing since December of 2010, it helped me document my pregnancy, take silly pictures, pass the time with games, watch videos, and most importantly kept me in contact with the rest of the outside world. When I didn't have it with me I felt weird like a piece of me was missing, everything was fine this morning until I made the biggest mistake I could ever make as a new mother.

I gave my phone to my almost 16 month old daughter, and she threw it in the toilet. What's really sad about this is while I was in the bathroom with her washing my hands I thought to myself, "Wouldn't it be absolutely terrible if she threw it into the toilet?" and before I could even blink the very thing I had JUST thought happened. This is what's left of my poor sad soggy phone:

You can see the obvious water damage, I got it out of the toilet as fast as I could but it was already too late. RIP phone, you will be missed. This was one of life's lessons I had to learn the hard way, you don't give a 16  month old toddler your cell phone it's a bad idea, especially when you don't have money to replace it. That is one of the many things I've learned since I became a mother.

I've also learned to appreciate the things you do have, because at any moment they can be taken from you. Embrace you're family because they are the people who are going to get you through rough times. One smile from my daughter can make all the things that are wrong in my life so right. I've learned to become a more patient, loving, and affectionate mother. You have to be, when you have a baby your whole entire life changes I mean I personally think for the better, but I suppose not everyone out there agrees.

You have to be able to laugh sometimes instead of getting upset, like for instance when my daughter took the frozen peas out of the freezer and spilled them all over the floor and then ate them with her dog. I really wanted to be mad, but how could I be after seeing how happy she looked. So I laughed it off, children are innocent little creatures especially at this age. They don't know right from wrong yet, punishing them is absolutely useless because they don't understand.

When you have children you realize not to take life so seriously all the time you really learn enjoy every moment like its your last because you never know what can happen. Motherhood is such a difficult job, but also so darn rewarding. You don't get sick days or vacation days you give it your all because you love your child so much and you want to give them the world. My daughter is my everything and no matter what she does I could never stop loving her, because since she came into my live I've learned how to love unconditionally.

You're going to make mistakes as a parent I can guarantee this, but it's what you do after those mistakes have happened and what you take from it moving forward that matters. Obviously letting my daughter have my phone is not the biggest parenting mistake I could ever make, and I know this but it sure was disappointing to watch her throw it in the toilet. But just like any other time I learned some kind of lesson that will help me be a better parent moving forward.

Believe me I'm terrified of messing my little girls life up, but I know deep down I'm doing the best that I can and I will always do the best I can as a mother to raise her right so that is all that matters. Make sure you tell your kids you love them every chance you get and give them as many kisses and hugs as they will allow especially when they are young because they may not let you when you get older :). Oh and don't be so hard on yourself it's hard being a parent it doesn't come with a handbook.

Super Easy (And quick) Kid Friendly Recipe: One Pan Lasagna

As a mother I know sometimes it can be difficult to keep the house clean, and if you're working, work an 8 hour shift, take care of the kids and still get dinner on the table all in one day. It doesn't help when you have a picky eater and don't you enjoy cooking. And then cleaning up a big mess after... NOT FUN.

Growing up my mother hated cooking, so I learned how to cook by myself at a young age. Since I have years of experience in the kitchen I've learned how to take recipes like this one that I found online, and make them simple so anyone can make them without fail.

 The great thing about this lasagna recipe is that if you have picky eaters or don't have all the ingredients you can make easy substitutions and it will still taste delicious. You can also add more or subtract any of the ingredients in this to your family's liking. For example, my daughter likes hers with lots of sauce so we put a little more in, but if your family isn't big on sauce but likes a lot of cheese you can add more cheese.

One Pan Lasagna

Serves: 6  Prep Time: About 10 minutes Cook Time: 25-30 minutes

Ingredients:

1 lb Italian sausage (You can use turkey sausage if you prefer or don't have Italian sausage)
Half a box of lasagna ribbon noodles, broken into thirds (I like to use whole wheat to make it healthier but you can use any kind you like)
2 Jars of Marinara Sauce (If you don't like it real saucy then just use 1 jar)
1 cup of water
1/2 cup of ricotta cheese (you can use more or less depending on your tastes)
1 cup of mozzarella cheese
1/2 cup of parmesan cheese
1/2 teaspoon of fresh oregano finely chopped (if you don't have fresh oregano dried works just as good)
1/2 teaspoon fresh basil finely chopped (again dried basil works just as good)

You can add any other ingredients your family likes if you wish like mushrooms, onions, garlic, etc.

Directions:

1.) Begin by dividing all the cheeses except the ricotta into three equal portions (don't worry if it's not exact it will still come out fine) then set aside.
2.) Using a large non-stick skillet* with cooking spray or 1 tablespoon of oil (I like extra virgin olive oil) remove the sausage from the casings into the pan and cook on medium/high heat for about 5 minutes or until sausage is brown. While the sausage is cooking gather the rest of the ingredients.
2.) Once the sausage is finished cooking remove it from the pan and put it aside for later, then place the skillet back on medium/high heat. Add half the jar of pasta sauce to coat the bottom of the pan.
3.) Now we begin layering if you haven't already done this, begin breaking the lasagna noodles into thirds and place them in the pan anyway you like, the add some a sprinkle of sausage, and the first portion of cheese. Now start adding 4-6 small dollops of ricotta cheese over the top with a small spoon. Do this 2 more times while adding the rest of the sauce each time you start a new layer so there are a total of 3 layers.
4.) Once you've added all the ingredients add 1 cup of water to the top making sure everything is covered, if you need to press ingredients down with a spoon gently. Cover and let it simmer on medium heat for 25-30 minutes.
5.) Check the pasta to make sure it's done but pressing down on it with a fork, if the pasta still feels firm let it cook for an additional 5 minutes.
6.) Once the noodles are cooked and the cheese is bubbling, now add the oregano and basil and remove from heat. Let it sit for 5 minutes too cool before serving. Sprinkle additional cheese over the top when serving if desired.

*If you don't have a non-stick skillet make sure you use plenty of cooking spray or enough oil so the noodles don't stick your pan and create a mess to clean, also make sure if you're not using a non-stick skillet that after you cook the sausage and before your coat the pan with sauce, your re-spray or oil the pan.

This recipe also tastes great the next day, so if you make too much you can save the leftovers and eat them for lunch or again for dinner. 

Dealing With Mommy Guilt

Maybe I am the only one who struggles with this, maybe I am not I really don't know, but I have a lot of mommy guilt. When I found out I was pregnant in September of 2010, it was a complete surprise I mean after all I had just turned 24 was working on finishing my degree, unmarried, and wasn't planning on having kids until I was at least 28. But life is funny like that and sometimes throws you a curve ball, anyway while I was pregnant I really never thought of how I was going to feel once I gave birth and held that baby in my arms. My only worries were: how much labor and giving birth would hurt.

Fast forward to today, my daughter is now 15 months old and I am scared (please excuse my foul language) shitless. I often feel stress and anxiety about my parenting skills. Despite the immense experience I have with kids, from working a pre-school, and helping raise my niece and nephew,  I still feel so in over my head. I find myself constantly asking myself, "Am I doing this right?" Should I give her that extra bottle, just because she says "Mama baba?" Should she even still be drinking out of a bottle after all she is 1 now? And she loves her pacifiers they make her so happy, I mean look at her:

 She seems so happy, but everyone keeps telling me, "You need to try and take those things away, the longer you wait the harder it will be." Thanks for the unwanted reminder. They are comforting for her and they make her happy, plus if I take them away I feel as though she won't understand why I'm doing it. I know they have to go sometime but I don't feel like either of us are ready to part with them. So I start to feel guilty, like I am doing her an injustice, I'm enabling her. After all I'm the mother, not her. This feeling is very frustrating.

And then there's the bad mom thoughts, I get these thoughts a lot, "Am I a bad mother because I let her watch TV at 15 months old?" "Am I bad mother because I leave her alone for 5 minutes so I can try to make a phone call to her doctor?" I can see her from the table. When she bumps her head on the couch, "Was it my fault because I didn't get to her sooner?" "If I check my phone or browse my tablet does that mean I'm not giving her enough attention?" I do all these things, so I must be a bad mother... this is what I find myself saying to myself way too often.

When you become a parent all this unwanted parenting advice comes at you from every direction, even from people you don't even know. It's very difficult and I have to say it gets to me sometimes, I feel the guilt but I never really talk about it. I told my boyfriend how I felt yesterday for the first time, he tried to make me feel better and assured me I'm the perfect mother, however; it's nice to hear but I know I'm still going to have these fears and I must deal with the guilt. I had a very difficult time growing up and experienced many horrible things that no one should ever have to go through, sometimes I think those experiences are what are fueling these fears, I just don't want to screw her life up or have to experience anything that I did. It's a cold world out there.

I know she knows I love her and deep down I know I'm doing the best that I can. And I know she loves me too, but that doesn't make motherhood any easier, after all; she is only 1 right now. Some days are better than others but I guess I'm just going to keep on fighting through this. Perhaps I should seek therapy I don't know, but I hope one day this will guilt will pass and I can accept the fact that it's ok to make mistakes. For now I need to just keep reminding myself kids don't come with instruction manuals, you do the best you possibly can, and if you make a mistake you learn from it and keep going.